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02 F__ Hag

Lily Allen

I spend most of my blogging time over at chomple.com, my food blog. I average about 500 visitors a day. When I get bored, I go check out the sitemeter logs to see what kind of trends I can find.

Days after his inauguration, President Barack Obama signed into effect plans to close the Guantanamo Bay detention facility within the next year. What do you think should be done with its remaining detainees?
Sponsored by “Inside Guantanamo” on National Geographic Channel. Premieres Sunday at 9P et/pt.

Send them to the Hague to help the lawyers drawing up war crimes charges against GWB and Cheney, duh. Congratulations Republicans, you've once again managed to turn terrorists into victims. 

So as most of you have read, I bought a Kindle 2. I did this after I realized that I really love reading books but I hate books. I hate their feel, how they smell, everything. Yes, I know that makes me strange. Yes, I know most smart people love the feel of books. Yes, I know that using a Kindle to is to book lovers like going to a wine tasting and getting your booze in a sippy cup. Well I like it, so there!

I guess the challenge is to read 50 or 52 books this year. I'm starting almost three months behind, but I'll catch up. And yes, if you're wondering, this is the first book I've read in three years.

I was in the middle of three other books when I found this one. This book reminded me why I love reading so much.

Snuff

Chuck Palahniuk

From the guy that brought you Fight Club comes a story about a gangbang, told from the perspectives of the people at the event.

Even after I read the free sample chapter that Kindle provides, I was a little concerned. Most reviews of Palahniuk's books are sort of effusive and strange, sort of like reading reviews of a hot video game. About 80% of the reviewers have something to say along the lines of "OMG I WANA HAB YOUR BABIEZ CHUCK I READ THIS BOOK TO MY GUINEE PIGS IT WAS SUCH A LANDMARK WORK IN THE HIZTOREE OF LITERACY U ARE SUCH A VISSIONAREE OMGOMGOMG WAHOO I LUB U" while the other 20% just call him an overrated sensationalist hack. 

I'm not one to usually give a crap about what any reviewer has to say, ever. When I'm picking restaurants for Chomple, I only read reviews to see that more than a dozen people have eaten somewhere and lived to tell the tale. But the reviews for this book were troubling. Why did so many of Palahniuk's psycho fans not like the book? Was it too controversial? Not controversial enough? Did the average Palahniuk fan merely just watch too much internet porn on a daily basis, and the subtleties of this plot weren't enough to overcome their desensitization?

Well then. I'm happy to say the book is ricockulously fantastic.

One of the things that Jody hates the most about me is that I rarely laugh out loud. She says this is because I'm not very emotional or expressive. The true reason is that I don't find very many things that funny. Things that make most people laugh I often find juvenile and not witty enough to deserve an audible laugh. The world just isn't that funny.

This book made me guffaw like a madman every 10 pages or so. Both Jody and the cat had to repeatedly come figure out what the hell I was doing that was actually making me LOL. 

The plot is more than a car accident, it's a 50 car pileup in an iced-over Moscow road tunnel filmed by a homeless drunk using a Disney Princess Movie Maker. This also explains the strange reviews. The differences between this book and some creepy dude's sex stories that he writes about Britney Spears are subtle. You know, things like character development. 

I definitely recommend this book as long as you're not a prude of the "Oh, dearest no!" variety. If you're uptight about porn, the subject matter might ruin your fun. And what a shame that would be.

My roundup from the Fancy Food Show is here.

The food porn has moved to my dedicated food porn blog Chomple.

Foodzie are giving away two tickets to the Fancy Food Show in SF!!!

The contest is here: http://blog.foodzie.com/2009/01/were-giving-away-2-tickets-to-the-fancy-food-show/

Now, the contest is to blog about why I should be the one to win tickets.

The way I look at it, I can say all I want about myself but I think it's much cooler to show what you, my loyal and frequently pithy reader, think about my gluttonous food porn star self attending the show.

So pretty please, leave comments here about why I would be the most awesomest attendee of the Fancy Food Show.

And if you don't and I don't win, that's okay. I'll just head downtown to my favorite Chinese dive and drown my sorrows in abalone.