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Can't stop laughing at this song

Apr 15, 2009
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Funniest song I've heard in a while...

Lily Allen

Things I've learned from reading Sitemeter logs...

Apr 12, 2009
2 comments

I spend most of my blogging time over at chomple.com, my food blog. I average about 500 visitors a day. When I get bored, I go check out the sitemeter logs to see what kind of trends I can find.

After perusing about two weeks of logs, I've found out the following about my readers (or, by extension, the internet in general):

Apparently I run way huger resolution than most. While I rock a 1920x1080 monitor, most of my readers clock in at somewhere south of 1280x1024 with the majority of them at 1024x768. Makes me feel better about my decision to make my blog narrow enough to comfortably fit on a 1024x768 screen.
Almost everyone uses Firefox.
Almost everyone still using Internet Exploder runs at a mind-numbing 800x600 or lower.
Three of my regular readers run at 640x480. Seriously, guys.
Two of my readers run 30-inch Apple Cinema Displays. 2560x1600. Respect, mon.
Fully 75% of my readers use screens with a 16:10 ratio (standard monitor widescreen). A further 20% still stick with the 4:3. 5% have adopted the tv-like 16:9 (that's what I have).
I have all of one reader that runs Opera.
A hell of a lot of people own BlackBerrys or iPhones.
Apparently tons of people log on to Google Image Search looking for pictures of a Chocolate Bag dessert.

QotD: Guantanamo’s Remaining Detainees

Mar 31, 2009
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Days after his inauguration, President Barack Obama signed into effect plans to close the Guantanamo Bay detention facility within the next year. What do you think should be done with its remaining detainees?
Sponsored by “Inside Guantanamo” on National Geographic Channel. Premieres Sunday at 9P et/pt.

Send them to the Hague to help the lawyers drawing up war crimes charges against GWB and Cheney, duh. Congratulations Republicans, you've once again managed to turn terrorists into victims.

Book 2/50 in 365: Next by Michael Crichton

Mar 1, 2009
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Michael Crichton

Standard Crichton technothriller. If you like his stuff you'll like this.

Book 1/50- Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk

Feb 27, 2009
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So as most of you have read, I bought a Kindle 2. I did this after I realized that I really love reading books but I hate books. I hate their feel, how they smell, everything. Yes, I know that makes me strange. Yes, I know most smart people love the feel of books. Yes, I know that using a Kindle to is to book lovers like going to a wine tasting and getting your booze in a sippy cup. Well I like it, so there!

I guess the challenge is to read 50 or 52 books this year. I'm starting almost three months behind, but I'll catch up. And yes, if you're wondering, this is the first book I've read in three years.

I was in the middle of three other books when I found this one. This book reminded me why I love reading so much.

Snuff

Chuck Palahniuk

From the guy that brought you Fight Club comes a story about a gangbang, told from the perspectives of the people at the event.

Even after I read the free sample chapter that Kindle provides, I was a little concerned. Most reviews of Palahniuk's books are sort of effusive and strange, sort of like reading reviews of a hot video game. About 80% of the reviewers have something to say along the lines of "OMG I WANA HAB YOUR BABIEZ CHUCK I READ THIS BOOK TO MY GUINEE PIGS IT WAS SUCH A LANDMARK WORK IN THE HIZTOREE OF LITERACY U ARE SUCH A VISSIONAREE OMGOMGOMG WAHOO I LUB U" while the other 20% just call him an overrated sensationalist hack.

I'm not one to usually give a crap about what any reviewer has to say, ever. When I'm picking restaurants for Chomple, I only read reviews to see that more than a dozen people have eaten somewhere and lived to tell the tale. But the reviews for this book were troubling. Why did so many of Palahniuk's psycho fans not like the book? Was it too controversial? Not controversial enough? Did the average Palahniuk fan merely just watch too much internet porn on a daily basis, and the subtleties of this plot weren't enough to overcome their desensitization?

Well then. I'm happy to say the book is ricockulously fantastic.

One of the things that Jody hates the most about me is that I rarely laugh out loud. She says this is because I'm not very emotional or expressive. The true reason is that I don't find very many things that funny. Things that make most people laugh I often find juvenile and not witty enough to deserve an audible laugh. The world just isn't that funny.

This book made me guffaw like a madman every 10 pages or so. Both Jody and the cat had to repeatedly come figure out what the hell I was doing that was actually making me LOL.

The plot is more than a car accident, it's a 50 car pileup in an iced-over Moscow road tunnel filmed by a homeless drunk using a Disney Princess Movie Maker. This also explains the strange reviews. The differences between this book and some creepy dude's sex stories that he writes about Britney Spears are subtle. You know, things like character development.

I definitely recommend this book as long as you're not a prude of the "Oh, dearest no!" variety. If you're uptight about porn, the subject matter might ruin your fun. And what a shame that would be.

100/100

Jan 31, 2009
3 comments

IMG_0152

Foodstravaganza!

Jan 19, 2009
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My roundup from the Fancy Food Show is here.

The food porn has moved!

Jan 8, 2009
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The food porn has moved to my dedicated food porn blog Chomple.

Help me and Jody attend the Fancy Food Show!!!

Jan 6, 2009
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Foodzie are giving away two tickets to the Fancy Food Show in SF!!!

The contest is here: http://blog.foodzie.com/2009/01/were-giving-away-2-tickets-to-the-fancy-food-show/

Now, the contest is to blog about why I should be the one to win tickets.

The way I look at it, I can say all I want about myself but I think it's much cooler to show what you, my loyal and frequently pithy reader, think about my gluttonous food porn star self attending the show.

So pretty please, leave comments here about why I would be the most awesomest attendee of the Fancy Food Show.

And if you don't and I don't win, that's okay. I'll just head downtown to my favorite Chinese dive and drown my sorrows in abalone.

Eating with my parents... the full experience

Dec 29, 2008
5 comments

Some of you reading this have had dinner with my parents at some point or another. Be aware that my parents were on their very bestest behavior when that happened and that the reality of their views on food are quite different. For those of you that follow my eating habits and adventures, reading this will probably explain quite a bit.

Eating in a restaurant that looks nice is a waste of money. This one is from my mother. She believes that any place that looks nice has spent the money on decor and upkeep, and thus you are paying for that instead of the food. While from a business standpoint this does have a modicum of truth to it, in reality the support costs of a restaurant really aren't going to be the problem. To me, the real problem is that chain restaurants that all have that sanitized look to them always have mediocre food. This has nothing to do with the fact that they spent money on decor, and has a lot more to do with the fact that they are just mediocre restaurants... some would say by design.

This is very odd considering that my parents eat at Outback probably three to four times a week. They love steak, and the way Outback does their steaks really works for my parents. One day, I asked my mother why it was ok to eat at Outback, since they obviously do spend money on their decor. Her response? "The food is good, and the decor is very bad and cheap, look so cheap. I think they get decor Goodwill store."
Eating while on vacation is a waste of money. Ohhhh, this one really gets me mad. My parents and Thai people in general, don't believe in spending any money when you're on vacation. The logic goes that you have gone on vacation for one reason: Sightseeing. That's it. Don't waste more money than you need to.

I actually start to get very angry when I think about this. We traveled a lot when I was a kid, and I can't even fathom how much awesome food I missed out on because of this stupid policy. Montreal without a smoked meat sandwich? Miami without rock crab claws? Tokyo without sushi? Boston without chowder? These things would never occur now. I could do nothing but eat local food for about a week in any major city before I felt the need to go see anything. But in my childhood, all of these cities tasted the same. Like ramen.
The job of the man is to have the backup dish. This is something directly caused by my parents' clashing personalities. My mother is very adventurous but ignores the consequences of anything she does. My father is very boring and would love to live life in the "OK" column. So this is what happens at restaurants: my mother orders the most messed up sounding dish on the menu, no matter how bad it sounds. My father gets the most boring option on the menu. When the food comes, if the crazy dish my mother got is good, yay for her. If not, she trades it to my dad for his "safety dish", leaving him with the dog food she ordered. They've done it this way for decades. Unfortunately this did not carry over to me, so there's no Secret Dish Service protection for Jody.
Garlic should be served unpeeled, after soaking in rancid vegetable oil. No further description needed.
Nobody should start eating until the woman of the house is ready and has a bite. However, the woman of the house will run around doing bullshit things for 15-45 minutes after the meal is ready to go. SIT DOWN. Seriously.