Day 8: The Pizza Story
I've always wondered what the right way would be to tell this story. Forward to back, back to forward, or out of order Pulp Fiction style. I don't really know, so I'm going to wing it.
All through my life, my parents have always had the same thing to say whenever I messed something up. Well, that's sort of inaccurate. More like, when in their minds I messed something up. Which is something completely different than actually messing something up.
But, for two decades, the insult was always the same. "You screw up just like you drop pizza when you little kid. No responsibility. Sloppy everything. Mess up everything!"
Huh?
Let's rewind.
When I was about 6 years old, we were still broke-ass people as my parents were both still in graduate school. It was a huge treat at the time to go eat at Pizza Hut (How time flies, right? If my life EVER degenerates to the point that PIZZA HUT is a TREAT, I'm just going to commit suicide by Olive Garden lemon cake). As always, we got our leftover pizza in a pizza box. While walking to our third floor walkup in the low income roach-infested hellhole my parents were raising a child in, I dropped the pizza box. Straight down. The box just dropped on the ground. Face down, closed lid. No harm, no foul.
My dad instantly started yelling at me for:
- being a stupid kid
- not paying attention
- wasting food
- wasting money
- wanting the family to starve
- not appreciating my parents' sacrifices
- being an idiot
- etc etc asian parent bullshit
- probably more shit I didn't understand because his engrish was so bad
This went on for about three hours. At multiple points during this verbal waterboarding I tried to mention that the pizza was fine and that I didn't realize what the problem was. At some point my dad decided to make a huge show of throwing the pizza in the trash to show it was ruined (irony of ironies, it wasn't ruined until he threw it in the trash).
For DECADES after this incident, as previously mentioned this was always the example about how I was a defective child that never cared.
I fought this notion all the time. When I was 22 and talking to my parents, I basically declared this was a parent-child deal breaker and that they needed to understand that their recollection of this incident was out and out bullshit and that they needed to reunite with reality.
My parents told me in no uncertain terms that this was yet another example about how I was a bad kid that liked to lie.
Whatever.
Crazies.
My Groups
-
iPhone Group Updated: Yesterday
-
The Spice of life Updated: Yesterday
-
PhotoCritiques Updated: Yesterday
Neighborhood
Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
Comments
this cracked me up
I would've never survived with your parents, I'm klutzy, I drop everything.
Hahahaha....this is really funny, yet sad. Let me tell you, I only get a portion of this BECAUSE my mother in law is japanese. We butt heads a lot...EXCEPT she usually wins, because I'm not as strong willed as she is. And if she puts in her 2 cents about something and you correct her with what you KNOW to be true, she'll later (in conversation) state what she said originally to my husband RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME)
There's a lot I could go on about....but I guess what I am saying is, I guess it's the old school Asian parents that are like this (my MIL is 74)
So sorry you had to grow up that way.....now you know how to raise your kids, if you ever decide to have any (the opposite of them) :o)
if it's any consolation, were poor too and the local pool cost one dollar during the summer to swim for the day...well, I would count out 100 fucking pennies to go swimming on many days..I'm talking digging in the couch, under every surface imaginable. yeah, paying was the most embarrassing event in the world. "Here are my pennies..hold out both hands, I promise, there's a hundred".
Those were fun days. ;)